Friday, July 10, 2015

Adam in the Hospital

Adam ended up being admitted this past week in the hospital. 

I forgot how quickly kids can spiral downhill when it comes to hydration. We had a checkup on Monday afternoon and by Monday at midnight we knew things were bad. He could not hold anything down, like not even 3 ml of Pedialyte. It was scary. It was so very scary. We took him to the ER and he was thrashing in my arms due to how irritated and dehydrated he was. 

They did labwork and started an IV (kudos to the awesome nurse who got it on her first try in his arm...I do not think that has ever happened). As the fluids started dripping in and rushing to fill his depleted veins, Adam started calming down. He had a fever that evaporated simply thru getting hydrated again. Raja and I sat down in peace for the first time in 24 hours as we saw his little body stop fighting the pain he seemed to have been going thru. 

As the doctor came in a few hours later, she notified us that Adam would need to be admitted because he was dehydrated beyond what could be cared for in a few hours in the ER. He would need at least 2 liters of fluid over a few days. We breathed a sigh of relief knowing this was the best plan.

After 3 days in the hospital, Adam came home and he has not had an episode of throwing up since.

They think he caught a virus of some sort and it just took him down fast. They did a lot of other tests, speculating worse things. I thought maybe I had brought something home from work and passed it to Adam. But, alas, it was just a virus. And he is just a boy with a narrow threshold for immunity. So he got pummeled. But that boy is a fighter beyond on definition and he continues to amaze all of us.

I am sorry I did not update you all sooner. I honestly did not sit down to a computer since last Sunday evening. Now it is Friday. I did update people on social media thru my phone but have not figured out how to update the blog via phone. Pardon me, for I do value each of you who keep up with our family.

Adam is home. He is not himself, still, but he is healthy. He is still a bit irritable and sleepy. But I imagine he will be back with us soon, fully.

On an exciting note, we got a call from Childrens Miracle Network while we were in the hospital. Adam was nominated for a Miracle and our family gets to travel to Disney World for 7 DAYS with CMN! That is so exciting and I dont really know what to do in Disney for 7 days. We are waiting until cooler days and will plan this trip later in the year. 

We are so thankful for all of you who came by with meals and love. So many of you will never know how powerful your acts of love are to us. I feel like I have been in a season of receiving so much from others. In this season of a recent international move coupled with young children and one of them with special needs, we ask for a lot of help these days. I am humbled by so many of you and how you care for us in these days. Thank you.

Sunday, July 5, 2015

Who helped Him?

"Momma who helped HIM?
Who helped Jesus?"

That was the question Elliot blurted out when He saw a brief screenshot of our King on Calvary. His little heart and mind were so overcome and all He could muster up was this guttural question of who helped Him. Because Elliot knows if he gets hurt, so many run to help him. And as we attempt to sprinkle the Truth to his little ears throughout the day, he hears the name above all names many a time. So when he saw that face whose Name is so majestic and heroic bleeding and in pain (even for a brief 5 seconds on some youtube channel), he panicked. 

"Who helped Jesus?!!?"

We stumbled over our words. And we stumble over the reality of the truth.

"Well, Elliot, no one helped Jesus. No one helped Him. No one helped Him so that you could be helped one day"

That was it. Then Elliot carried on with licking the creme out of an oreo or something. Two years is no age for deep theological reflections. But it was Truth and though I pray it seeped into fertile soil in his little heart, it certainly seeped into mine.

No one helped Him, so we could be helped.

The words of that great hymn echo in the recesses of my mind.

"How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory"

Even the Father turns His face as His child cries out asking why He had been forsaken.

So that.

So that He could "make a wretch His treasure".

We, worn wretches, made treasures. Because He was forsaken. No one helped Him, so that I could be helped. As He hung there, stretched and torn, my name was in His heart. As He hung there, stretched and torn, those forgotten in the world's were remembered in Glory. 

And since He was not helped and since He took our place, we inherit His reward.

We inherit Him.

We have communion with God.

So that, on evenings like tonight, I have a God who intercedes on my behalf.

So that, even when I stink at asking for help and asking for prayer, that slain King who is now seated in glory, intercedes on my behalf and petitions my motherly groans to His Father (and mine). So that I do not have to do this journey alone.

If it were not for His suffering, my suffering would be unbearable, as would all of ours. If it were not for His suffering and resurrection and unending presence with us, Adam's suffering would undo me. It nearly does undo me...

But God.

But God.

It nearly would undo me, but GOD. God is a very present help in times of trouble. 

But God's wounds have paid my ransom.

But God takes trash and makes it treasure.

But God takes foolish things to shame the wise.

But God is with us all, broken and weary, every treacherous step of the way.

But God.

If it were not for that conjunction of Deity's presence, we would not get thru the pain of this world.

So, little Elliot, as you grow. I pray you know it is hard, but God. I pray that you know that no one helped Him, but God. God had a purpose beyond stopping the suffering of His chosen one. Your older brother is sick a lot and we do not understand why, but God. 

Little Elliot, I pray you keep asking these hard questions. Because your momma needs to hear them most of all. Because they are questions she is too scared to ask sometimes. 

No one helped Him on that cross, but that same suffering King moved mountains on behalf of our family and on behalf of the rescue of Adam. And He still is. They just may be different mountains and in different spans of time that your momma wants. But still, He is there.

And just as He was asked when He walked the earth why the man was born blind. It was not a punishment warranted for sins committed. It was so God could receive glory thru his life.

And when I do not understand why Adam has to suffer and why the road seems throttling at is so God could be seen and His redemptive purposes can be walked out. And good gracious that is freeing. 

No one helped Him, so that He could help us.

That settles it.


Dear one, Adam has continued to heal well from surgical stuff, like wounds and cysts and such. However, he has been battling a lot of nausea and vomiting and diarrhea. I think he has lost a couple of pounds but in the past 2 days he is now holding down food for the first time. Interesting enough, most of his hydration with pedialyte he has ingested orally (not be gtube). Raja has been giving him 5 mls at a time of Pedialye and we pray with each syringe given. As of today, he has not thrown up once and is peacefully sleeping and not in pain. We are so grateful.

Tomorrow we take him to a checkup with his pediatrician regarding the nausea and we also have a follow up with ENT and his normal Speech appt. It is a bit of a crazy day. So if you can pray for us as we go to each of those, we would be so grateful.

I am hesitant to share often when Adam gets sick because I fear you become discouraged. Forgive me, for I know I am wrong.

 Thank you to each of you who have offered suggestions. We have been perfusing many essential oils. He has been sleeping in clouds of melaneua, breathe, and on guard. I have been practically bathing in elevation;) And we have been loading him with probiotics galore. We are so grateful for these natural remedies and hope they have contributed to some of his improvement. 

But he is certainly not back to normal and we miss him.

We cherish your prayers always.

Monday, June 22, 2015

Surgery Day

(In a nutshell, we are home from surgery and all went well! If you want a play by play, here goes...)

5 am Wake up call

508 am Realize we slept thru wake up call-Frenzied rush to kitchen to brew coffee (Maslow's hierarchy of needs, clearly)- Raj quickly wakes Adam to give a quick pre procedure bath-I load up the car and mix the coffee

6 am Mimi (my mom) arrives to be with Elliot and Rohan until VBS starts at 9

625 Raj drops me at front door with Adam (I check in and breate a sigh of relief that we were not late and did not get a call from Baptist Health asking for "the parents of Adam Paulraj who was scheduled to arrive at 6:30"...not like that has happened before or anything...cough cough)

645 They call us up to sign paperwork, Adam is sleeping on the chair next to us completely unaware of what is about to happen

655 We wake up Adam from his quick nap and discover his ostomy bag has leaked everywhere due to diarrhea (sorry, this IS a somewhat medical blog AND our son's bowels have a different exit strategy than the bowel function will inevitably appear here and there). Raja takes Adam into the men's bathroom, bathes him the sink, and redresses him (exactly what was done at 5:08 repeated). I eye two men before they walk in, try to give them the stink eye or some weird facial contortion as a way of warning them from going did not work...but the bathing situation in the sink DID work and they quickly returned back to the waiting room. haha)

700 We get the call from Baptist Health asking for "the parents of Adam Paulraj who was scheduled to arrive at 6:30". I try to explain to them that we have already checked in and are in the waiting room...but a "sticky situation" has come about (pun intended) and we were tidying Adam up before walking back into preop. They happily agree that our actions were necessary.

713 Pop a wheelie on Adam's bike as we rush back into preop for our 730 surgery

715 Meet all the doctors again, sign consent forms, explain that the arm bands really won't stay on Adam's hands, and no it will not work on his ankle either

730 Watch Adam start to drift on into dream land happily, say a prayer with him, and kiss his little head before they wheel him back

745 Find aunt gerri in the waiting room with venti lattes and scones (be still my heart) and remember we only had coffee thus far (maybe Maslow's hierarchy was right...I always remember that once my stomach is funky and dizziness sets in)

820 Get updates from my mom of my one child who refuses to eat and my other child who ate everything in sight back at home. 

930: Get an update from the OR that 1 surgeon has finished and the other has started, all is going well

the way Abba God has used this man to heal parts of my heart are many...the way Abba has helped this man to radically love and heal boss man Adam...leaves me speechless.

1030: surgery is OVER! Doctors come out in cycles and explain their part of the procedure.
ENT was able to successfully remove the cysts on the backs of Adam's ears and nose. He also cleaned out lots of (let's say) "stuff" from his ears and placed a tube in the ear that did not have a tube from a previous surgery.
Craniomaxillary was able to remove the cysts they were working on and tell us they think this will help Adam a lot. He says how privileged he felt to have God bring his path together with Adam and what a stellar kid he is. I think my mom had tears in her eyes listening. I was really encouraged by his sincerity.

1100ish: go back to the recovery room and start to settle the boss man. Per usual, once Raja holds him his respirations calm down,his blood pressure drops, and his heart rate drops in half because he loves his dada so much. We turn on familiar David Nevue piano music and slowly start giving him pedialyte until he can hold down a whole bottle.

Noonish: Free to go! We dont have to be admitted at all! Adam is good to go home today! woohoo! 

i insisted on a balloon from the kids cart. 
 200 Arrive home and proceed to fall asleep (me, Raja, and Adam)

345 Wake up and take Elliot and Rohan to neighborhood pool where Elliot is taking swim lessons

600 Swing by pharmacy on way home from pool for Adam's meds

630 Get home and Uncle Jennings (my brother) shows up with burgers and shakes! Glory Glory Hallelujah! We all eat and share stories from our day. Jennings stays thru story time where we read our current top read family book

730 Little boys in bed and we settle in for a long evening nap.

Adam is now happily resting at home and we are all breathing a little easier;)

Thank you all for your prayers. We are humbled and grateful at His continues faithfulness over Adam's and our lives.
And these two rascals had an awesome day.  The past 2 days elliot has been saying "one day adam get trach out and Adam come to SWIMMING POOOL". I dont know if he had dreams about it or if it is just a thought he has. Nonetheless, it is really sweet and I like to dream of such things too...whether or not it happens this side of heaven or not. Love these boys.